Cats, clowns, and Valentines
by Horrorfana
Summary: It's Valentines day and Ivy invited Selena Kyle over to help console a heartbroken Harley. It is then that Selena realizes that the day of love isn't that great.


"Why?! Why today?! The most important of days?! Why today?! Why did I have to go and screw things up?! Why Red, why?!"

Ivy sighs in frustration while Selena rolls her eyes beside her.

"You know Harley, you aren't the only one without a man today."

Harley wipes her eyes on her shirt sleeve before turning to Selena.

"Yeah but you're different. Ya see, Kitty you and the bat weren't a thing to begin with so you don't know what it feels like...to get kicked out on the most romantic day of the year!"

Selena leans back on the couch and looks over at Ivy pleadingly.

"Do I really have to stay? Can't you handle...her?"

Ivy pats Harley on the back and shakes her head.

"I don't see how a mindless propaganda and murder filled holiday can make us miserable."

"Tell me about it. You wait and wait for a call or some guy to show up with a dozen roses at your doorstep, and for what? At the end of the day you end up depressed and lonely."

"Murders..."

"Oh yeah roses...anyway, this holiday is just pathetic."

Selena looks over at Harley and tsks before adding. "And what do you bet she'll be back with the clown by sundown. Bastard."

"That isn't much of a bet if its pratically guaranteed."

"Actually..."

Selena is cut off by Harleys phone going off. Harley quickly grabs and answers it.

"Hello? Hi puddin! Really? But Red... Okay... I'll be right there!"

Harley hangs up and smile excitedly at Selena and Ivy.

"You'll never guess! Mr J wants me back! I'll miss you guys but thank you so much, you are the best!"

Harley pulls Selena and Ivy into a bear hug before pulling away and dashing out the door. Selena huffs before standing and grabbing her coat.

"I guess I've worn out my welcome."

"You can stay as long as you like, traitor."

"I never lied to you."

"Sure you didn't."

"Ivy, theres a differance between not telling you all the details and flat out lying. I told you that I couldn't tell you who he was, that wasn't a lie."

"True, but you still know who he is, traitor."

"Whatever, go cuddle with some thorns, I'm going to the Iceburg, I need a drink."

Selena zips up her coat as she storms out of the warehouse and slams the door behind her.

...

Selena rests against her arm as she looks around the lounge, realizing that going to one of the most exclusive restaurants on Valentines day wasn't the best idea. She sighs before taking another sip of her cocktail.

"I loathe Valentines day."

"You, myself, and everyone else in this idiotic city."

Selena smirks, not botjering to turn around."

"Eddie, why are you here, don't you have a couple of groupies willing and ready?"

"I wouldn't dream of mixing buisness and pleasure. I had three before five months ago."

Nigma signals to the seat by Selena at the bar.

"May I?"

"Its a free country."

"True but I wasn't asking for permission. I was asking if taking this seat and joining your delightfully lonely company would give you the sudden desire to maul me with those claws of yours."

Selena looks him over and shrugs.

"What the hell, I'm not in the nood to kill you tonight...just keep your hands to yourself."

Nigma takes the seat beside her and props his cane against the bar.

"Now, what kind of man do you think I am?"

"The kind to take advantage of every oprotunity where you can show off and inflate that ego of yours. What are you doing here anyway?"

"You are not the only one lacking company that chooses to adress their problems with quantities of alcohol."

"I would've thought you'd be robbing the art museum or something."

"Well, you haven't either, have you?"

"Not today. I just wasn't feeling like seeing him tonight."

"You seem rather confident the dark knight would come to you."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Have you considered what he could be doing as we speak? Not much crime occurs tonight."

"I don't want to..."

"I wonder if he finds himself in a similar situation such as ourselves."

"Hes on a date."

"Pardon?"

"He has a date at that french restaurant on fourteenth. Blonde, model, he couldn't care less. He'll sleep with her just..."

"For the image. I'm aware."

Selena absently traces her finger around the rim of her glass.

"I don't get it Eddie. You know about...him, but you haven't told anyone. Why?"

Nigma smiles. "Because currently we are the only two...in our line of work, that are even remotely aware of of dear dark knights biggest secret. Currently you couldn't tell even if you were skinned...like a cat if you will. Therefore, I am the only one who could reveal his secret. But if I do, there will be no secret to know. Why would I give out my greatest sucess?"

"Good point. So, are you going to order a drink?"

"Or I could contine this conversation with a clear mind."

Selena shrugs before raising her glass.

"To Valentines day in all its depressing glory."


End file.
